Cops

                                                                           

I.                 Duties & Responsibilities of Police Officers

The class description for the position of Police Officer, as defined by the Municipal Fire & Police Civil

Service Board (rev. 7-10-75), is hereby reproduced in its entirety:

A. Nature Of Work

This is general and varied duty police work in the protection of life and property through the

enforcement of laws and ordinances. Work involves the responsibility for performing routine

police assignments that are received from police officers of superior rank. Work normally consists

of checking of parking meters for violations, routine patrol, preliminary investigation and traffic

regulation, and investigation duties in a designated area on an assigned shift which involve an

element of personal danger and employees must be able to act without direct supervision and to

exercise independent judgment in meeting emergencies. Employees may receive special

assignments which call upon specialized abilities and knowledge usually acquired through

experience as a uniformed officer. In addition, employees of the class may be required to assist

other personnel of the police department in conducting interrogations, searches, and related duties

as assigned, involving female prisoners or suspects, as well as in escorting females and juveniles to



and from designated points. Assignments and general and special instructions are received from a

superior officer who reviews work methods and results through reports, personal inspection, and

discussion.

B. Illustrative Examples Of Work

(Any one position of this class may not include all duties included, nor do listed examples include

all duties that may be found in positions of this class.)

•       Patrols a designated area of the city on foot, on a motorcycle, or in a radio cruiser to preserve

law and order, to prevent and discover the commission of a crime, and to enforce traffic and

parking regulations.

•       Answers calls and complaints involving fire, automobile accidents, robberies and other

misdemeanors and felonies.

•       obtains witnesses, and makes arrests; testifies as a witness in court.

•       Interviews persons with complaints and inquiries and attempts to make the proper disposition or direct them to proper authorities.

•       Checks parking meters for overtime parking violations and issues traffic tickets; directs traffic

at intersections; participates in escorting funerals and house-movers.

•       Conducts accident investigations providing first-aid for injured, taking safeguards to prevent

further accidents; interviews principals and witnesses, taking written statements from drivers,

witnesses; examines vehicles and roadways, observing traffic control devices and obstruction to

view; takes necessary street measurements; clears the scene of obstructions and wreckage.

•       Escorts prisoners to and from court; insures that prisoners are properly guarded; supervises

trustees washing cars and cleaning buildings.

•       Acts as custodian of personal property and evidence being held for court presentation;

·        maintains records of property, evidence, and automobiles held or impounded.

•       When assigned, is responsible for reloading ammunition at the police training academy, scene of crime administers first aid, conducts preliminary investigations, gathers evidence

·        When assigned, participates in training activities at the police training academy; may instruct or

establish curriculum for instructional purposes.

•       When assigned, investigates crimes; searches  for and preserves evidence; questions suspects

and witnesses; checks pawn shops; maintains surveillance over persons and places suspected of

vice operations.

•       Assists in interrogation and investigations involving female prisoners and juveniles.

•       Searches female prisoners and assists police officers in situations involving female persons.

•       Conducts female prisoners and juveniles to and from jail to courtroom, hospitals, or elsewhere.

•       Performs other related police duties as assigned.

o   C. Necessary Knowledge, Skills And Abilities

•       Ability to cope with situations firmly, courteously, tactfully, and with respect for the rights of

others.

•       Ability to analyze situations quickly and objectively, and to determine proper course of action

to be taken.

•       Ability to understand and carry out oral and written instructions.

•       Ability to write and speak effectively.

•       Ability to develop skill in the use and care of firearms.

•       Good general intelligence and emotional stability.

•       Willingness to cooperate with officials and other police officers.

•       Willingness to learn and increase skill in police work.

D. Required Training And Experience

Graduation from a standard high school or possess a valid certificate of equivalency issued by a

state department of education.

E. Necessary Special Requirements

Must be not less than twenty-one (21), nor more than forty (40) years of age.  Must meet such medical and physical standards as may be prescribed by the civil service board and successfully pass any qualifying examination, either oral or written, that the board may approve.  Must be a citizen of the United States and a resident of Louisiana.  Must be a qualified elector of the State of Louisiana.

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These are for Cops in Louisiana, but by-and-large, they are for every Cop.  And I can say this with surety because even in this there are loopholes of duties.  

If it has been psychologically proven that the brain doesn’t develop completely until the age of 24-26, why do we ask that cops become indoctrinated into their authority roles before the brain is fully formed, and abstract thought fully developed.  It’s like soldiers.  Despite (C) we don’t want our cops to think, we want them to act.  And behavior-modification will make them learn how to be those men and women who walk around with Power that you and I don’t have.

We don’t want them in the hippie colleges, or very few of them in the Brain Machine.  We want our cops in the Brawn department, like we want our soldiers.  Why?

If Cops thought and actually analyzed things for what they are, they may turn into Serpico and have a thought of their own.  But that’s for the lawyers to decide what is and what is not a thought.  A cop must carry out the LAW and the ORDER, decided upon judges, juries, lawyers, congressmen, and the President.  A Cop is really a peon in the Executive Branch, because he only makes decision about cases.  He is not the judge and jury and lawyer, or the President.  So we gotta keep our Cops dumb, right?  Yes.  Because if a cop wasn’t staring at that radar waiting for you to go 88 miles per hour, but he was reading Proust, he may QUESTION.  He may WRITE.   He may have paralytic moments on the job.   So maybe this really shouldn’t be a law, he may think.  Not all cops are dumb.  That’s like saying anyone without a college degree isn’t smart.  Cops can be sharp as a tack.  They can smell a criminal a mile away, despite most who go by the color of skin and appearance.

No, I truly don’t think all cops are dumb, like I don’t think all army soldiers are fodder.  They are human beings like you and I, but they have The Badge, and wield it around the room, as if it were some kind of phallus and we all were vaginas.  You do not go to a Cop as if they were a human being (unless you knew them in high school or something).  You do not talk to them about the latest David Lynch film and what their favorite type of food is.  You don’t even talk about the President and who they think is a good candidate on both sides.  There is a Badge and it is a Wall.  And this Wall is inhuman.  Through a Cop’s eyes you are either with this Wall or you are against it.  And they size you up in degrees for which you are away from this Wall.  The Wall isn’t even the Law.  The Wall is his or her authority residing over the space around him or her.  And so, you become a kiss-ass of the Wall.  He isn’t selling the Wall and you can’t sell anything to the Wall.  And zeroing-in on those who stray too far from the Wall is a measuring of criminals.  This is not paranoid of me, this is how cops see you and me.  Are you or are you not potentially going to spray paint shit or steal money or talk too loud or get into a fight or be drunk in public.

I see nowhere in these rights and duties and shit, something that says Divine Judgment is given to the Cop.  But America is under God’s trust, so the loophole is there.  The Wall is Divine Judgment with a badge, and it oozes from them.  It gives them the right to beat the shit out of inferior people in their eyes.  And that Still goes on.  It says I came, I saw, I judged, I conquered, with a night stick, mace, and gun.

But maybe I’m being too harsh.  What about the good cop, what would we do without cops?  Unfortunately, in the System as we have it, they must be there.  And some really are good.  They are good like a lawyer is good.  When a case or crime happens, they are whom you have to go to.  They are the peon cogs in the executive branch for us peon citizens.

What would make a good cop, and I’ve spoken briefly to a few, is if they smash through that judgmental wall and drop all duties and BE HUMAN.  I love how in Law & Order, the detectives restlessly, tirelessly fight crime.  That’s the Wall we watch.  And there’s talk of the thin line between taking that pedophile out of commission and an arresting him.

                                                            “The Thin Line”

The reality is, most crime isn’t brutal and disgusting and have some serial mastermind like Charles Manson.  Most crimes are misdemeanors and minor offenses.  Most are alcohol and drug related.  So this thin line is TV Drama and there’s way too much of it.  What the thin line is when the cop must be vigilante and a criminal in order to do good, like kill a mastermind serial killer who will stop at nothing for his next victim.  You kill him or he kills someone else.  DRAMA.

The Real Cop, not a detective, is hanging out about 5 blocks from you just waiting for you to speed, so that he can fulfill his ticket quota, and watch you squirm between anger and kiss-ass.  So that the Badge and the Wall can stand before you and make you shake.  You may be a 59 year old woman, but don’t get out of the car unless he tells you.  You could have gun in your Jaguar.  And they really want to make sure you’re the little old lady from Pasadena is legit with going over papers.   You don’t even want to be a black male at 18 driving without paper.    

Cops are smart to hide their cars, right?  That says it all for me.  That should be their number one duty:

•       hide radio vehicle behind trees and wait for peon drivers, so that you can turn on the blue and reds and start constructing the Wall as you approach.

Notice how over half of the examples are automobile related.  Side note, there’s a lot of escorting of females as well.

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For all this cop bashing, I do have to say that cops can be good and non-judgmental.  That they can serve the public, in times most needed.  Like Sept. 11.  They can be the brawn when brawn is needed.  As always though, a little revising of the Badge and the necessity to be the way they are.  Did you know Police Officer can also be called Peace Officers?  I would rather see them rename themselves Peace Officer first.  And take away the inhumanity, and learn more about what makes someone Innocent until Proven Guilty.  Because the Wall I talk about says that you are guilty by degrees.  And if they changed their uniforms and colors.  And rewrote their philosophical outlook via consensus.  Perhaps, I wouldn’t call them Cops and then kiss their asses when I’m near the Wall.  Perhaps they could really add Order, rather than Their Order.