The Importance of People

I once believed in the importance of people.  Sure, I’m not evil, wicked, or mean.  But unlike me, some people actually value others over food, money, and time.  And the rare person who values another more than their own life we call hero.

As I sit here writing, 11/20/11, I muse on just how much people are important.  After all, I’m one of them.  I look, though, out the windows, and see traffic, see headlights zoom back and forth, faceless, uncaring of each other and me, who sits in here beyond their imagination.   There are a lot of f-ing people in the world.  In the room right now at Starbucks, including workers, 20 to 22 people are here.  In one Starbucks.  Out of this population, only workers would talk to me for any reason, and their reasons are most likely Starbucks related.  The rest who are non-workers are with their friends, family, and computers (like me).  But this is Morgantown,WV, and I have revisited this Starbucks for the last 3 months nearly nonstop.  I can guarantee you no one is going to sit at my table, interrupt me and tell me their life story tonight.  I would bet more money than I have on this.

Human beings deep down are conflicted with each other, place up boundaries they’ve learned since childhood, and generally stay away from each other’s personal space.  When I say they are conflicted, I mean, they find each other’s company irritating unless they are familiar with the other.  Very beautiful women and famous stars have to hide from men and women, because they will want something as personal as sex with them or something as simple as an autograph.  I too would want privacy. 

So why are there people in Starbucks at this moment, but they’re not all hugging and introducing each other?  It is an unspoken agreement that we do not know each other well enough to introduce ourselves to each other.  Or, the importance of the people around ourselves is absolutely zero in comparison to, say, the worker who sells me coffee.  We all are close enough to talk, but do not.  And I, for one, won’t be going to another table to strike up a life story with someone.

I think I used to get lonely and be bitter about these facts, though it went unverbalized.  Once you have been cultivated with boundaries, you get slightly comfortable.  If I had to say hello to everyone on earth, I would die of exhaustion.  Yet there’s something oddly misaligned, as in the value system that places such an importance on loving one another.  Here one ignores and avoids contact.  Too much conflict, big boundaries, there is no real love from stranger to stranger here.  It is only the stranger in need we help.  If they’re a big boy or big girl, ignore.  Avoid.  Unless the importance of what we WANT from them supersedes the unspoken isolation. 

This is not true of ALL people.  Some people generally do try to reach out to strangers in a sincere way, to help.  I know a girl who helped a stranger with her groceries, for no reason at all, just this morning.  There are exceptions.  And without these exceptions, it would be an even chillier human race.  Without the exceptions of people who don’t think in terms of what can I get from that stranger, we would only be using each other, I say.  Families would disappear, because these exceptions are kind and give to strangers, not because of the return.  And that kindness and giving are necessary for two lovers and then children… well, you know that story.  But yet the truth is that families end up having unspoken agreements to isolate themselves from the rest of humanity.

Sadly enough, it is a world of strangers, isolating from each other, when really so much love could be given.  I daresay, this is a tragedy of humankind.  And only in times of masterful destruction do strangers join forces against a giant force.  They love as the ants love then.  And then back to our family and friends.  After all, you can’t trust anyone until you know you can trust them.